Pizza a la Black!
by Max6
Summary: WATCH OUT SIRIUS IS ORDERING A PIZZA!! NEW CHAPTER UP!! SIRIUS ON A DATE!
1. A pizza

James, Lily, Remus and Sirius are at the Potter`s  
  
"Hey Siri order a pizza!!!", Screamed James Potter to his friend from another room.  
  
"Lils, how do I order it?"  
  
"Just push the numbers from the delivery and since you`re doing that order some  
  
chinese food for me!!."  
  
"Okey...(evil glint appears in his eyes) and you Moony want something?".  
  
"Yeah, some three tacos and two fajitas"  
  
"Okey..."(dials the phone)  
  
"Yes? Pizza Hut how may I serve you?"  
  
"Hello? Hello? anybody there?..."(He´s rolling on the floor laughting)  
  
"Yes, this is Pizza Hut how may I serve you?"  
  
"So now you call instead of us? well whatever I´ll tell you what I want..."  
  
"Huh?...."  
  
"Could you hold for a moment please?"  
  
"Yes, of course sir..."  
  
10 minutes later  
  
Sirius was watching the tv and Lily tries to grab the phone.  
  
"No Lily I am talking to the pizza guy"  
  
"Padfoot, you were talking to him 10 minutes ago..."  
  
"Ten minutes already? damn! (He grabs the phone) Yeah hello? I know what i´m  
  
going to order now"  
  
"Oh sir you still there? we tought that you hanged up on us"  
  
"Hang up on food? never! but please could you pass me to Mike, I always order with  
  
him?"  
  
"Oookeey..."  
  
"Mike speaking, what are you going to order?"  
  
"Well I want a large pepperoni pizza, a medium olives one without chesse...mmm do  
  
you check if the pizza it`s actually dead?"  
  
"Are you sirious sir?"  
  
"Of course I´m Sirius!!!"(At this point James, Lily and Moony were at the floor rolling  
  
with laughter)  
  
"Well in that case...yeah?."  
  
"Okey but please double-check, now i´m going to continue with my order..."  
  
"Okey..."  
  
"As I was saying, I want also some pizza crust."  
  
"So your order is: a large pepperoni pizza, a medium olives one whitout chesse and  
  
pizza crust?..."  
  
"No, what I want is a large spinach pizza, a small olives one with extra chesse and  
  
pizza crust."  
  
"So, large spinach pizza, a small olives one with extra chesse and pizza crust?"  
  
"NO! you just don`t get it do you? please write it down, I want a large chesse pizza,  
  
a ordinay small olives pizza and pizza crust.Got it?"  
  
"Yes, so you want a large chesse pizza, a ordinay small olives pizza and pizza  
  
crust.?"  
  
"Yes, finally..."  
  
"So you want drinks with that?"  
  
"Mmmh...I..I...I..don`t..know...Well yes I think yes I want four cokes."  
  
"Okey that will be $10.90"  
  
"A question...can I keep the pizza boxes? " (he asked shyly)  
  
"Yesss..."  
  
(sigh of relief from Sirius)  
  
"Okey It will take 30 minutes or less."  
  
"Thank you and remember:we never had this conversation."  
  
PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU LIKED IT!!! 


	2. A prank

CHAPTER 2  
  
James, Sirius, Remus and Lily at the Potter`s  
  
Sirius:I´m bored (he was sprawled out on the floor)  
  
James:Yeah...me too, since we left Hogwarts, we haven´t played too many  
  
pranks.  
  
Remus:You have to count Sirius´s pizza order.  
  
James:Yeah but also since Lily is pregnant,altough it`s been only fifthteen  
  
days she has been even more bossy.  
  
Lily:James Potter!!! you mean that I bore you?!!!!  
  
James:No honey, of course not...It´s just that...  
  
Sirius:You aren´t as fun as you used to be?  
  
James/Lily/Remus:Shut up Padfoot!!!!  
  
Lily:Okey James since i´m not as fun as I used to be tomorrow I´ll give you a  
  
great prank, and...Sirius will have to do it, since it concerns Rita Sketter, you  
  
know the crazy woman that used to work with Paddy here, the one that has a  
  
crush on him since she first saw him?  
  
Sirius:Lils don`t call me Paddy I sound too feminine!!! and what did I do to you  
  
woman?! why do I have to do it?  
  
Lily:You´re the one that she has a crush on, besides did you saw the stupid  
  
thing she wrote about James being an Auror?  
  
Sirius:Okey I´ll do it for Prongsie.  
  
Lily:Okey, I´ll give you the list tomorrow I´m going to my room now.  
  
James: Hon, I´ll be up in a minute, okey?  
  
Lily:Okey baby (they kiss)  
  
Sirius/Remus:Ewwww! people here!  
  
The next Day:  
  
Lily enters the room where the three man were and she handed a copy of a list  
  
to each of them, they start to read it and they snort on their tea, coffee and in  
  
Sirius case chocolate milk.  
  
The list said:  
  
1. Guard your plate with fork and knife and act like you'll stab anyone who  
  
reaches for it, including the waiter.  
  
2. Collect salt shakers from all the tables in the restaurant, and balance them  
  
in a tower formation on your table.  
  
3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.  
  
4. Read a newspaper during the meal, ignoring your date.  
  
5. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what she's  
  
talking about.  
  
6. Every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched while  
  
making airplane sounds.  
  
7. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This is especially fun in fancy places  
  
with linen tablecloths.  
  
8. When ordering, inquire if the restaurant has any live food.  
  
9. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more of her food than she  
  
does.  
  
10. Drool.  
  
11. Talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.  
  
12. Scarf down everything on your plate in 30 seconds.  
  
13. Ask the people at the next table if you can taste their food.  
  
14. Order something nasty for your date. Act offended if he refuses to eat it.  
  
15. Ask for a seat away from the windows where you have a good view of all  
  
exits and can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.  
  
16. Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.  
  
17. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, salt and pepper shakers, silverware,  
  
floral arrangements-anything that isn't bolted down.  
  
18. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.  
  
19. Bring 20 or so candles with you. During the meal, arrange them in a circle  
  
around the table. Chant.  
  
20. Insist the waiter cuts your food into tiny pieces.  
  
21. Feed imaginary friends or dolls you brought with you.  
  
22. Shoot hoops with shrimp into her water glass.  
  
23. Every time your date opens her mouth, interrupt and start a new  
  
conversation.  
  
24. After kissing her, explain you're doing a study on the spread of  
  
mononucleosis.  
  
**********************  
  
The day passed by, Sirius had already called Rita and they were having a date  
  
that night at seven o´clock. It was now six fiftyfive.  
  
Remus:Your date is in five minutes; aren't you going to get ready?'  
  
(Sirius was reading some Muggle magazine while playing loud Beatles music  
  
on the record-player that he had brought from home.)  
  
Sirius:I was born ready.  
  
James:Oh, don't give us those sorts of lines. Why do you listen to that old  
  
stuff anyway?  
  
Sirius:It's not old.Besides, it's really good:  
  
Lily:Yeah, he`s right.  
  
(Remus walked over to the record-player and took the stylus off of the record.)  
  
Sirius:Hey! I was listening to that!'  
  
James:You need to get ready. I don't think that Rita will be very happy with  
  
you if you show up late and in your condition. Have you even brushed your  
  
hair at all today?.  
  
Sirius:Look who´s talking! and no, I haven't, and that`s the point'  
  
(he said resignedly, getting lazily off his bed and walking over to the mirror.  
  
He swiftly ran his hand through his hair in one motion, then went to find his  
  
cloak.)  
  
Remus: Is that really all you're going to do?'  
  
Sirius:Yep, I'm perfect, oh and Lils do you have any chocolate chip cookies?  
  
Lily:Yeah, here. (hands him a cookie, he eats it)  
  
Sirius:Now I am perfect (he smiles, he was right but the chocolate chips in his  
  
teeth erased all that perfection)  
  
Lily/James/Remus:Snorts and rolling on the floor  
  
He then bid goodbye to the guys, he apparates in front of his date.  
  
Rita:So,-she said coldly-, you finally showed up.I thought that you weren't  
  
coming.'  
  
Sirius:I'm right on time,-he declared, pointing to his watch-.  
  
Rita:You were supposed to be early.-crossing her arms-  
  
Sirus:(getting annoyed).I showed up on time. I told you seven o'clock, not six  
  
forty-five, not seven-o-five.Can we just leave now? 


	3. The date Part one

AND HERE´S THE DATE THAT YOU ALL PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WAITING:  
  
Rita: So where are we going? (Looking disgustingly at Sirius´s teeth)  
  
Sirius: I was thinking of going to the new restaurant in Hogsmade. Are you  
  
okey with that? (Noticing that smiling even more)  
  
Rita: I guess...  
  
Sirius: `Lils I´ll kill you next time I see you´  
  
They arrived to the restaurant, it was really fancy  
  
Waiter: Hello, do you have any preferences in where would you like to sit?  
  
smoker or not smoker?  
  
Sirius: (nerviously) Well, as a matter of fact if it´s not a problem I would like a  
  
seat away from the windows where I can have a good view of all exits and can  
  
keep my back facing the wall.  
  
Rita: Sirius, darling you don´t have to be so paranoid (She said this trough  
  
clenched teeth)  
  
Sirius: You don`t know anything, they think I´m stupid but no sir, Sirius Black  
  
is everything except stupid, I know THEY are watching me.  
  
Waiter: Okkeeyy... If you please follow me.  
  
They sit on a table away from the windows where they had a good view of all  
  
exits and could keep their backs to the wall.  
  
Waiter: Here you have the menus, do you need anything else?  
  
Sirius: Yes please I would like some crayons and a sheet of paper, you  
  
wouldn´t want me to write on the linen tablecloth would you?.  
  
Rita: Sirius!  
  
Sirius: Oh sorry could you bring some for her also?  
  
Waiter: Of course.  
  
Rita: No! I don´t want crayons!  
  
Sirius: Shh... Rita you don´t have to be ashamed.  
  
(By now Rita was almost under the table)  
  
Waiter: I´ll bring that stuff for you in some seconds  
  
Sirius: Thanks (With a flick of his wand he apparated some candles around  
  
the table)  
  
Rita: Oh how romantic!  
  
Sirius: Sure `If you only knew´ (And he started to twitch spastically his leg)  
  
Rita : Sirius! could you stop that? is getting really anoying or do you have a  
  
problem in your leg?  
  
Sirius: What are you talking about?  
  
Rita: About your leg, you´re moving it  
  
Sirius: No, i´m not!  
  
Rita: Yes you are!  
  
Sirius: No I´m not!  
  
(Waiter comes)  
  
Waiter: So, have you decided what would you want for dinner?  
  
Rita: I wa-(Sirius cuts her off)  
  
Sirius: She would like to have frog legs with clams, do you happen to have by  
  
any chance any live food in this restaurant?  
  
Waiter: Not that I´m aware of  
  
Sirius: Oh, okey then she´ll only have that and I would like a chesse  
  
hamburger with fries  
  
Waiter: It´ll be ready in twenty minutes  
  
Sirius: Thank you  
  
Rita: Sirius! why did you ask for that food?  
  
Sirius: Because all the people I know told me that it was great. (He gots up  
  
from the table and starts to circle the table with his arms outstretched while  
  
making airplane sounds, then he sits down)  
  
Rita: what was that?  
  
Sirius: I wanted to fly like the birds and the planes!!  
  
(And the same thing happened every five minutes)  
  
The waiter was coming with the food and Sirius was guarding his plate with  
  
fork and knife and acting like he'll stab anyone who reaches for it, including  
  
the waiter.  
  
The waiter looking scared left the food in front of each of them.  
  
Sirius: Oh, escuse me but could you please cut my food into tiny pieces? If  
  
it´s not too much trouble. And could you bring some shrimps?  
  
Rita: Sirius! You´re making me look bad  
  
Waiter : Oh it´s no problem madam (He left)  
  
Rita was about to start eating when...  
  
Sirius: No! Rita before we start eating we have to chant why do you think I put  
  
those candles in here?  
  
Rita: Okkeeyyy....  
  
(And Sirius started to chant, when he finished everybody was straring at him,  
  
Everything was silent, crickets could be heard chirping, but he didn´t seem to  
  
notice, after a while when everybody was out of shock, he stared to stare at  
  
the people at the next table, and then he started to drool)  
  
Rita: Eww... that´s disgusting Sirius stop drooling!  
  
Sirius : But I´m hungry! wait I have an idea! (he turned around and asked the  
  
person at the next table) Could I have some of your food?  
  
Person: Uh? Of course no!  
  
Sirius: Okey... Looks like you didn´t learn to share when you were a baby...  
  
***********************  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!  
  
NEXT CHAPTER SECOND PART OF THE "DATE" 


End file.
